Silver and Gold
by PodBayDoors
Summary: How Affinity should have turned out for Sam and Jack.
1. Bent Bonds

Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission.

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This is what I think should have happened during "That lab scene" in Affinity. Thanks to gater62, Zoser and Chocolatequeen for the inspiration!

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** CHEMICAL AFFINITY**: The tendency elementary bodies have to combine  
and remain in combination.

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"Pete gave me this." 

Jack marveled at his ability to stay standing as he watched his fingers open the black box Carter had held out to him as some kind of surreal explanation for her distracted behavior.

She should have just said something like, "I have the flu." Or, "They won't let me examine the Very Large Array next week." She should definitely not have ripped his heart out of his chest with an innocent look on her face.

Jack said something slick and a little snide like always, but he couldn't remember what it was. The logic being A.) She obviously didn't love him or she wouldn't be showing him _a goddamned engagement ring; _and B). She'd be better off with Pete anyway; and therefore C). She couldn't be allowed see how Jack really felt about her.

Jack had learned to be rational from Sam- but he had learned to rationalize all on his own. He snapped the box closed like a sniper's bullet straight to the heart.

"I told him I needed to think about it." She was wavering. He could tell.

_I have to tell her to say "no."_

_You have to \tell me to say "no."_

Then the moment passed like a thousand lost moments had passed before it.

Sam kept talking as she always did when she was nervous. "Y'know, all these years I've been concentrating on work - I just assumed that one day I would..." _Hear you say you still cared about me. Know __**exactly**__ how your lovely silver hair got so messy, this time. Sneak off with you to the courthouse in between killing Jaffa._

Jack said something else that Sam didn't quite catch because her heartbeat was pounding in her ears. And then she kept on pushing him because she'd expected him to have said something comfortingly negative by now- but the sickening truth was starting to dawn on her. He didn't care, in fact, he was _glad_ she had found a nice guy. Jack seemed like he was happy for her.

_Happy for me. _Sam fought the urge to run from the room. He couldn't be allowed to see how she felt, but the way out went right by Jack and she knew she'd never make it past him. Sam had always thought that at least she had his respect, and she didn't want to risk losing that, too, by sobbing into fistfuls of black t-shirt and begging him to love her, instead.

So she kept talking, her voice now completely disconnected from her brain. "I mean, every time we go through the Gate, we risk not coming back. Is it fair to put somebody else through that?"

_You put me through it every fucking day, Carter. Is that fair? _Jack calmly steadied himself against the cold, reassuring steel of the lab table. "Pete's a cop. I think he can handle it."

Then they looked at each other and wondered how the hell it had ever come to this.

He was talking her into marrying another man.

Sam concluded she had nothing to lose, and decided to push every single button she knew how to push. If he hated her it couldn't be any worse that this friendly apathy because then at least he'd feel something, and she _needed_ him to feel something. If she couldn't be in his heart, she could at least get under his skin.

"What about kids?" _Our kids, Jack. _

"What about 'em?" _Shove the knife in, Carter. Go ahead. I'm dying anyway.. _

Sam gave him one last chance "What about you? If things had been different..."

_That's it, Carter. Give it a good twist._

"I wouldn't be here." Jack didn't even know what he meant, because nothing had meaning anymore.

But it did. "What kind of answer is that?" Sam demanded as she stood up and shut her laptop with a bang.


	2. Transition States

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**Transition states: **A high-energy state through which chemicals pass irreversibly to form stable final products.

* * *

The sound of the laptop and the anger in Sam's voice shocked them both. Jack could not recall Sam ever losing her temper, least of all at him. Quite simply, love, like anger, was not allowed from a subordinate. The reverberations from the laptop and the tone of her voice seemed to resonate until it shook them both to their very cores. Like an earthquake, the wave bounced against the concrete laboratory walls until it brought down their façades, every bit shattered until all that was left was real life.

"What kind of answer is that?" Sam didn't care that he was her CO. He was her life, and for once, that was more important. She had to have a straight answer, to _know. _Now. Time had simply run out.

"What kind of _question_ is that? What could have been _different_, Carter?" Their lives had been so irredeemably screwed up it was hard to imagine any single thing making a difference, as long as it didn't involve dying. For real.

"You could have let me call you 'Jack.'"

"_What_?"

"I left something out of my report about the _Prometheus,_ because it was too personal._"_

"That was obvious. Everyone was there but me." _And I never had the nerve to ask you why- I didn't want to know why. But I knew why._

"And when I woke up, you made me call you 'sir'."

"That means that much to you? Doesn't it mean anything that I ripped the galaxy apart looking for you?"

"I didn't know that." Sam answered quietly.

"Oh, Sam," Jack sighed, his deep voice cracking like split timber. "There's a lot you don't know."

"Then tell me." _For once. Just one time. Please._

"No."

Sam closed her eyes.

Jack picked up the box. "Not before you tell me something." He rolled it around in his fingers.

"What?" She opened her eyes wearily.

"What the _hell_ are you thinking?" Jack threw the box with muscles forged by decades of fighting and a rage generated by years of denial. He drew jagged breaths as they stared at each other, surrounded by memories and the beautiful sound of tinkling glass.

"I'm not thinking." Sam's eyes were wide but unflinching.

"I guess there really is a first time for everything," he said softly.

Jack watched as Sam carefully rose and went to the shattered equipment. The box had detonated and the ring lay in a pool of molten silver. "This gauge had mercury in it. It'll chemically bind to the gold and by morning the band will be cracked." Sam turned to Jack, shaking with emotion. "We just ruined it."

Jack strode over to Sam, moving faster than she though possible in the confines of her lab. He put his arms around her and bound him to her.

"No, Sam. We didn't ruin anything." he whispered into her golden hair. "We finally fixed everything."


End file.
